Film reviews

Tagline – The One Name They All Fear

Only one word serves to encapsulate Van Helsing from the cheesy poster to the end of this film – and that word is “kitsch”. Now, I don’t mean kitsch in a bad way; it could be argued that if all this movie aspires to be is a silly comedy, then it succeeds admirably. However, if it hopes to be taken seriously, it would be gravely mistaken. This film mixes in elements of the cheesy 50s' black and white horror flicks, Monty Python-esque stuff, absurd stunts, and so on.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

To give an example of the kind of humour I mean, early on there's a scene of Dracula with his mad scientist (of the classical type). Dracula is in his castle's mad scientist’s laboratory, doing the usual villain explanation on his plans to his vampire brides. Meanwhile, Igor is in the background, zapping a shackled werewolf with an absurdly large cattle-prod device. It looks like typical 50's classic “horror”. At one point in the midst of his melodramatic monologue, Dracula suddenly whirls around and asks casually: "Igor, why are you tormenting that thing?" Igor turns around, there is a long pause, and then he answers: "Uh... it's what I do, master."

Basically, Van Helsing has elements of conventional (e.g. Bela Lugosi) and cheesy (e.g. 1950s) horror films, as well as elements of Indiana Jones and Monty Python. I lost count of how many handy ropes, chains, vines, and other things were just hanging around waiting to be swung from. And because this is nominally a horror film, it comes with all the obligatory monsters – such as Frankenstein, Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, Dracula (and vampires in general), werewolves, mad doctors, and insanely overpowered weapons.

Ah, yes – talking of insanely overpowered weapons… (I know all you teenage boys will be sitting up and taking notice now…) This is where David Wenham’s character stands out. If you want to try to watch this film, you have to take on board the fact that the aforementioned monsters really do exist, and that the Vatican has been covering up this fact – just as it has been covering up the fact that it has been battling them for centuries. This is where Wenham’s character comes in – as the Vatican’s researcher on extremely experimental weapons. He really shines when he looks up at Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) and utters understatedly, “I’m just a friar”. Of course, no “just a friar” could remain just a friar and so Wenham almost immediately (and against his will) joins Jackman on his hunt for Dracula.

Unfortunately, like so many other mindless action films, this film is let down by the requisite romance – this time, between Van Helsing and Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsdale), the film’s heroine. There are times when Jackman and Beckinsdale take the romance far too seriously, when they should be hamming it up – in keeping with the film’s general feel.

Because this film tries to be a serious film during the romance scenes, however, it drags down a little. Nevertheless, Van Helsing is a pleasant enough romp through the realms of fantasy throughout the centuries. It’s full of historical inaccuracies that would give serious researchers nightmares, but it never takes itself too seriously or expects anyone else to do so.